Fearless - Breaking Free From the Comfort Zone

About a year ago the Lord began to deal with me about being fearless. This was such a big step for me, because “Fearless” was not the word one would use to describe me if they knew me growing up. In fact, I was extremely fearful. Very few people know that I struggled with fear, because I was very good at hiding it. But now I’ve come to realize that, although something might be difficult to talk about, I shouldn’t hide it. How selfish would I be if the one thing I was holding back would be the very thing that changed someone’s life forever?

From a very young age until I was twelve I suffered from extreme fear and panic attacks. When I would lie down to sleep at night, I would feel a demonic presence in my room. I would get a terrible headache, become nauseous, start trembling and sweating, and my heart would beat at a rapid pace. Many times I would run to my parents, and they would always encourage me and recite 2 Timothy 1:7. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” I knew that scripture was true. I wanted to be free from fear, but after suffering for so long, I felt like it was a part of me. I believed the lie of the enemy saying that it was my identity. I would cry out to God to relieve my mind from torment, but I felt like He was so far away.

When I was twelve, I had my worst attack, and this time it was in the middle of the day. This was the last straw. I finally became flat out angry; I was tired of letting fear and torment rule my life. Every time I had another attack, I would say, “Spirit of fear, you have no place in my house!” I began to speak peace to my mind, declare scripture, and sing worship songs. When I couldn’t pray, I spoke in my heavenly prayer language; this built my faith. The attacks became less and less frequent, until one night, when I felt that same dark familiar feeling, I sat up in bed and told it to go in the name of Jesus. Instantly, I felt a wind blow from behind me. It was so strong that I felt as if it blew straight through my body. My hair literally flew up and hit me in the face, and in that moment I was flooded with God’s peace. This was victory. Sweet sweet Victory!

Fast-forward several years later to the fall of 2012. My family was going through one of the hardest times in our lives. My brother, because of serious health problems, was unable to lead worship, and it was my job to fill in for him. You see, singing back up was my forte. That was where I liked to be and where I wanted to stay, but God is not a fan of comfort zones. I had played guitar for three months. I was so nervous when I first started leading because I was afraid I would fail. If I did fail, what would people think of me?

For my new years resolution for the year 2013 I made a promise to God and myself that I would be fearless. I wanted to be bold in everything that God called me to do. Two weeks later, I received an invitation to lead worship at a Christian girl’s sorority retreat. When you make a promise to God, He will make sure you keep it.

Over the last year, my life has changed drastically. My brother is completely healed!!! Also, I feel like a different person. I learned that being fearless is not only blocking fear taking my peace but also fully trusting God. I know I can’t do anything in my own strength. I need God in every step I take. My boldness is not found in me, but it’s found in Him! Isn’t that so liberating? There’s no more pressure on me because I just look to Him. My Dad and I were talking the other day about how I’m no longer that scared little girl hiding in her comfort zone. I have flown away from that little nest, and I like this new view way too much to go back.

So, today, what is holding you back from the call of God on your life? What is keeping you in your comfort zone? I want to invite you to be fearless. Come on this journey to be FEARLESS with me! It might not always be easy, but the view sure is great!

Stay Fearless,

Mariah